By Melisa Morgan
- You know you will be thrown into single motherhood for months on end when the conditions are right.
- You will not be having babies in April, May, June, August, September or October.
- You will have unusual encounters, like when your toddler brings you an ear of corn, and you know it shouldn’t be yellow in April.
- You know a field is ready to harvest by biting the grain,
and you know that weird smell in the air is corn pollinating.
- Your ”futures” do not involve horoscopes and psychics.
- Your top Web hits are The Weather Channel, Country Futures, Machinery Trader, TractorHouse or YouTube videos of farming.
- The word “auction” makes you cringe.
- Your husband says he has an appointment in the morning, and you know he is going to the USDA office, not the doctor.
- You wash your car not because it is dirty but because we need the rain.
- You always RSVP as a “maybe” to every event or social gathering because plans are not made; they just happen, and you’re ready to drop your plans at a moment’s notice because “something came up at the farm.”
- You treat a rainy day as a holiday or spend it planning your next spray rotation, seed selection or harvest.
- You find random things in your husband’s laundry, such as chalk pens, nuts, bolts, screws, drill bits, tiny screwdrivers, or lighters — and he doesn’t even smoke.
- Your yard maintenance is or has been done by a farm implement.
- You know about the latest farming techniques and are always privy to new legislation affecting the farming industry.
- You are aware that prices in the store are going up before they actually do due to your own costs.
- You keep your work boots right beside your high heels, so you’re ready at a moment’s notice.